BONUS | Navigating My New Normal - My New Season

Transcript

Microphone (Realtek(R) Audio)-1: 0:01

Welcome to another episode, a bonus episode of more or less podcast, where I encourage you to get more out of life. So you're not left here wishing that you did more, you're not left here with less, let's get into it. Today's episode, we'll be talking about navigating your new life. This is the part of your life, your situation where you've overcome the barriers you fought through, and now you're in a new way of life. You're in a new routine. It is sticking. How do I continue to navigate? Because oftentimes life will shift. In a mighty way. As I told you guys this story is inspired in his was inspiration from my wife's passing, how to navigate when you lose your love, how to navigate your family, how to navigate your life. I just talked about work life balance and trying to find that, but now we're navigating the new normal navigating. Your new season. So for example, right now embarking on my kids first day of school. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I'm not going to lie. Because my kids are so brilliant. I'm so excited. My oldest, she's heading to college this week. And we're preparing to drop her off. We got everything scheduled. Great. Straight away squared away. I'm sorry. And it's nervous because I've, I still feel young. I am young still. And to be driving my daughter off at college, which feels like I just got out of college myself. That was 15 years ago. I was in college. Time is flying. When I started college that long ago. And so it is crazy to think now. Wow. I have a daughter that's going to college and and the cool thing about it was we've been blessed because she excelled so well basically almost nothing to pay out of pocket for school, which is truly a blessing that shows how much God can do for you in a time like this. And then my younger ones me and my wife started them on homeschool and I really wanted. To encourage them to stay, stick with homeschool. I love, the ideals and what you can do with homeschool, but being able to provide for them as a single father was a lot to manage. So I was blessed that a close friend of mine from my church was able To homeschool them and even now they even referred me to someone who really took on the time fully to homeschool, so i'm getting them enrolled with that. So they're still being homeschool have them a private teacher Which is truly a blessing something. I always wanted to do because I always saw myself in ministry I'm running a business and just being able to travel the world and pick up and go as the lord leads And you can't do that We need your kids being in public or even a private school, but if they're homeschool, they can learn on the go. They can pick up curriculum on the go. I can do my part, as needed, or if I had a private teacher teach them and then I can pick up where I needed to as their father. So being in this place in my life, it's like all these things that, I thought was going to happen down the line. God is saying no. I got you right now. Let's do this. Right now. And I'm truly blessed to be in a space where I'm just open and receiving. God has been blessing spiritually, mentally, financially, and unimaginable ways, and all I want to do is be a good steward. All I want to do is be the best father for my kids. And so this one's for you guys. I'm navigating that new normal. First thing I had to realize in this new normal is take a step back and say, okay, we're doing okay. Yes, we miss my wife. Yes, my kids still miss my wife, but just like me and just like them They're taking steps forward. They're excited They already picked out their hours for the next school day. I'm excited for them. My daughter, she's all my oldest. She's all packed up, ready to go with family playing a big part in helping get stuff squared away, getting backpacks for the kids, getting school supplies, like putting my kids in the best position possible and help me alleviate some burdens as a single father. As a widowed father. And then just looking at this week, right? And it hit me this week, with my kids, I'm having a private teacher. I take them to, to their house versus having them here. So usually. When I was working my nine to five I'm still working a nine to five, but being in that job, bro, you're always around people and then you come home and you're around your family growing up, always had a roommate room with my brother went to college, had roommates, moved out, lived off campus with my friends, friends that become brothers. When, when that happens, when you're away and you have to build your own family, your own tribe. I've always been with somebody. Always have roommates, always have presents. Then, working from home. My wife teaches the kids at home. Always had that company around. Even though I'm working, I always had that company around. Now, the kids are going away. All the kids are going away. My oldest is going to college. My youngest is going to their teacher. Having time to just me. Is entirely new even when I was working I was always having people around even though I was working Then I'll come home even though I was in my own office You know my wife my kids they were just on the other side of that door Now it's for the first time in my life. Really a lot of time of just Me and i'm navigating that realizing, God is doing this for a purpose because I wanted to spend more time with god wanted to really Strengthen that relationship because even though i'm gung ho for jesus And I'm walking this path. It can still be difficult. And so I wanted to take time to really solidify my roots in Christ. And that way I can walk and live the example that I want my kids to live as well. And my kids. They got it. They're walking with Christ and I'm loving that my wife and I have planted those seeds at such a young age because even if I feel like off, my kids know how to bring me back in Christ and how to pray for me, they know how to lay hands, they know how to encourage me in the word, and they keep me honest, they keep me on my toes, and I want to keep myself honest and on my toes for me, for that salvation, for that walk of faith, but also because I know they're looking at me. Half the time they don't listen to what I say, but they're watching what I do. And that's one thing we need to learn as parents, that our kids are watching us. We can speak and teach and do things all day long, but their actions are a result of what they see in us, how they treat each other, like the other day, right? My mom tells me. My son had a nightmare and my my middle child, Micah, she consoled him. She was holding him. She was like, Hey, you okay? And he had a dream that some animal or something got her. So she was like, look at me, look at my face. Am I right here? Touch me. You see me? I'm right here. There's no need to be afraid. I'm here. I'm with you. And my mom thought that was the most beautiful thing that my daughter could do. Did for him and the reason why I was so beautiful is because a while ago My daughter had a nightmare. I said, hey, babe. Look at me. I'm right here. Touch me. Do you see me? Yes, don't worry. Don't be afraid. I got you. I'm right here And she remember that you never know how much your words impact your children until they share verbatim And somebody else She was able to console her younger brother in a way that I consoled her. Almost to the T, the exact same manner, in the exact same situation. So if you don't think they're watching, they are. And so sometimes, when you deal with grief, and you ride in the waves, emotions rise in the waves unexpectedly. Sometimes the kids get upset and cry more than they used to. Sometimes I take a situation as a parent being honest and transparent, Where I didn't need to yell that much, or I didn't need to be that frustrated, but the emotions are still fresh. And it's okay. Give yourself grace. I had to give myself grace. Family always tells me, hey, you have a right to respond that way. Yeah, it's okay. Give yourself grace. You're doing a great job. And the same thing to my kids. Hey, I know you miss your mom. I know it's a tough season. But you're doing a great job and now encouraging them in this new season. They got new teacher. I got a new work schedule, adding new tasks to my life. Getting back to my 5am routine as I'm recording this podcast, it's 5am and excited, got a whole day ahead, doing things new, doing things in different and embracing that because one day you're going to be pushing, you're going to be trying next thing, you're going to be living in this new routine. For example, I'm getting up early, working out, making breakfast for the kids, getting them ready for school, then I'm driving them to their school. Having a little time with them before they start school, get back. Have the house to myself, working on my business, working on myself, getting my job done at my job. And then, the kids coming home after that. And that being the new normal, I even told myself, Hey, I had to brace my weekends. I'm leaving my weekends as open as possible because they're subject to change. And if you're a parent like me, when school year starts, do not plan. Unless you're planning things around your kids, because they're going to have activities, they're going to have events, and you do not want to plan your life to disrupt the flow of your kid's life. You plan that first, let God have his way, and you're feeling yourself, but you need yourself. You need your time for yourself. But you're feeling that time appropriately according to their schedule. But listen, You need your you time. That's why I'm getting up at 5 a. m. So I can have time I just came out of prayer and listening to the Word of God Got my mind focused meditating on the Word of God meditating on the day Shifting my mindset to be ready. Then I'm gonna get into my morning stretches and workout routine The cool thing I like about being to the house to myself as I can work out while I'm working Do small sets between shifts between assignments? And that's what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks and it's been great. I don't feel bad if I don't work out the first thing in the morning because I have nothing else to do for the rest of the day, but do my work and work out. And it's been great. For you, you might not have that luxury. You might not be working from home like me, but understand that when you're in a new space like this, take time for yourself. I'm taking the morning for myself. So by the time the kids are done with school and I'm done with work for the It's me and them. Us working together, rocking together, having that needed time together, uninterrupted, no phones, no internet, no work, no busy work. To seem like I'm busy when I'm not truly busy, to giving that time to them. And when the weekend comes, giving that time to them. Because with me working, that takes a lot of my time. Them at school, that takes up their time. And we need the time to come together. To talk together to be with each other to love on each other. So make sure you find that balance Navigate your new normal navigate that new season you deserve it and take time for you. Go out go to church Meet some friends make some friends hang out at somebody's house Go out to eat by yourself watch a movie by yourself meet some new friends hang out with them Do something that's going to get you going hang around your loved ones drop your kids off With family with people that you trust people that you know And do you enjoy you? And it sounds like I'm talking to you, but I'm really talking to myself, encouraging myself that we're in a new season, embrace it, enjoy it, and take it one day at a time. Thank you for rocking with me on another episode of more or less. I'm encouraged. I hope you're encouraged. Thank you guys. I love you guys. God bless you into the next time.